25 Nov 2015

Imagination, Creativity, Experience and Failure

On Imagination...

Imagination


“Don’t trust a brilliant idea unless it survives the hangover.” ~ Jimmy Breslin


“Blessed are the curious, for they shall have adventures.” ~ L. Drachman


“Inspiration comes of working every day.” ~ Charles Baudelaire


“There are no rules here. We’re trying to accomplish something.” ~ Thomas Edison


“If I’m going to sing like someone else, then I don’t need to sing at all.” ~ Billie Holiday


“This world is but a canvas to our imagination.” ~ Thoreau


“Go to where the silence is and say something.” ~ Amy Goodman


“I love those who yearn for the impossible.” ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


“There are always flowers for those who want to see them.” ~ Henri Matisse


“The artist is a receptacle for emotions that come from all over the place: from the sky, from the earth, from a scrap of paper, from a passing shape, from a spider’s web. ” ~ Pablo Picasso


“Reality is whatever refuses to go away when I stop believing in it.” ~ Philip K. Dick


“I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed!” ~ William Shakespeare


“I shut my eyes in order to see.” ~ Paul Gauguin


“To imagine is everything, to know is nothing at all.” ~ Anatole France


“You need not leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. You need not even listen, simply wait, just learn to become quiet, and still, and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked. It has no choice; it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.” ~ Kafka


“Silence is the mother of truth” ~ Benjamin Disraeli


“It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.” ~ Thoreau


“No artist tolerates reality.” ~ Nietzsche


“Who looks outside, dreams… who looks inside, awakes.” ~ Carl Jung


“Think outside the box, collapse the box, and take a fucking sharp knife to it.” ~ Banksy


“Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow the talent to the dark place where it leads” ~ Erica Jong




On Creativity...





“Dance first, think later” ~ Samuel Beckett


“The thing about creativity is, people are going to laugh at it. Get over it.” ~ Twyla Tharp


“Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working.” ~ Pablo Picasso


“Don’t spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door.” ~ Coco Chanel


“Don’t ask what the world needs, ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” ~ Howard Thurman


“Inspiration comes and goes, creativity is the result of practice.” ~ Phil Cousineau


“Go where the silence is and say something.” ~ Amy Goodman


“Creativity is a type of learning process where teacher and pupil are located in the same individual.” ~ Arthur Koestler


“Any activity becomes creative when the doer cares about doing it right or better.” ~ John Updike


“Sometimes you gotta create what you want to be part of.” ~ Geri Weitzman


“The difficulty lies not so much in developing new ideas as in escaping from old ones.” ~ John Maynard Keynes


“Don’t think. Thinking is the enemy of creativity. It’s self-conscious, and anything self-conscious is lousy. You can’t try to do things. You simply must do things.” ~ Ray Bradbury


“To copy the truth can be a good thing, but to invent the truth is better, much better.” ~ Giuseppe Verdi


“Creativity is an act of defiance.” ~ Twyla Tharp


“Put your ear down close to your soul and listen hard.” ~ Anne Sexton


“It’s not where you take things from — it’s where you take them to.” ~ Jean-Luc Godard


“Creativity is the sudden cessation of stupidity.” ~ Edwin Land


“The ability to dream is all I have to give. That is my responsibility; that is my burden.” ~ Harlan Ellison


“Painting is poetry that is seen rather than felt, and poetry is painting that is felt rather than seen.” ~ Leonardo da Vinci


“The enemy of art is the absence of limitations.” ~ Orson Welles


“You don’t make art, you find it” ~ Pablo Picasso


“Creativity is essentially a lonely art. An even lonelier struggle. To some a blessing. To others a curse. It is in reality the ability to reach inside yourself and drag forth from your very soul an idea.” ~ Lou Dorfsman


“The chief enemy of creativity is good sense.” ~ Pablo Picasso


“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” ~ G.B. Shaw


“Everything’s already been said, but since nobody was listening, we have to start again.” ~ André Gide


“Creativity takes courage.” ~ Henri Matisse


“Everyone must leave something behind when he dies, my grandfather said. A child or a book or a painting or a house or a wall built or a pair of shoes made. Or a garden planted. Something your hand touched some way so your soul has somewhere to go when you die, and when people look at that tree or that flower you planted, you’re there. It doesn’t matter what you do, he said, so long as you change something from the way it was before you touched it into something that’s like you after you take your hands away. The difference between the man who just cuts lawns and a real gardener is in the touching, he said. The lawn-cutter might just as well not have been there at all; the gardener will be there a lifetime.” ~ Ray Bradbury


“I’ll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there’s evidence of any thinking going on inside it.” ~ Terry Pratchett


“How we spend our days is how we spend our lives. What we do with this hour and with that one, is what we are doing.” ~ Annie Dillard


“Creativity is intelligence having fun.” ~ Albert Einstein


“I invent nothing, I rediscover.” ~ Auguste Rodin


“To draw, you must close your eyes and sing” ~ Pablo Picasso


“If I create from the heart, nearly everything works; if from the head, almost nothing.” ~ Marc Chagall


“Do not be satisfied with the stories that come before you. Unfold your own myth.” ~ Rumi


“Find something only you can say” ~ James Dickey


“Creativity is not the finding of a thing, but the making something out of it after it is found.” ~ James Russell Lowell


“Free your mind and your ass will follow” ~ George Clinton


“Art is not about thinking something up. It is the opposite–getting something down.” ~ Julia Cameron


“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.” ~ Scott Adams



On Experience...




“To practice any art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow. So do it.” ~ Kurt Vonnegut


“The scariest moment is always just before you start.” ~ Stephen King


“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” ~ William Butler Yeats


“Learn from yesterday, live for today, look to tomorrow, rest this afternoon.” ~ Charles M. Schulz


“I can’t go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.” ~ Lewis Carroll


“Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely.” ~ Auguste Rodin


“You don’t have to say everything to say something.” ~ Beth Moore


“Get it down. Take chances. It may be bad, but it’s the only way you can do anything really good.” ~ William Faulkner


“The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.” ~ W. M. Lewis.


“Sometimes painful things can teach us lessons that we didn’t think we needed to know.” ~ Amy Poehler


“You cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.” ~ André Gide


“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.” ~ Jung


“Some of us have great runways already built for us. If you have one, take off. But if you don’t have one, realize it is your responsibility to grab a shovel and build one for yourself and for those who will follow after you.” ~ Amelia Earhart


“Every moment and every event of every man’s life on earth plants something in his soul.” ~ Thomas Merton


“Don’t think about making art, just get it done. Let everyone else decide if it’s good or bad, whether they love it or hate it. While they are deciding, make even more art.” ~ Andy Warhol


“When you play, never mind who listens to you.” ~ Robert Schumann


“Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Being willing is not enough; we must do.” ~ Leonardo da Vinci


“Everything that we encounter leaves traces behind. Everything contributes imperceptibly to our education” ~ Goethe


“Go and make interesting mistakes, make amazing mistakes, make glorious and fantastic mistakes. Break rules. Leave the world more interesting for your being here. Make. Good. Art.” ~ Neil Gaiman


“To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest.” ~ Pema Chödrön


“Any idiot can face a crisis; it’s this day-to-day living that wears you out.” ~ Anton Chekhov


“The lessons you are meant to learn are in your work. To see them, you need only look at the work clearly — without judgment, without need or fear, without wishes or hopes. Without emotional expectations. Ask your work what it needs, not what you need. Then set aside your fears and listen, the way a good parent listens to a child” ~ David Bayles


“Everything in life comes to you as a teacher. Pay Attention. Learn Quickly.” ~ Cherokee saying


“Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.

Life is beauty, admire it.

Life is a dream, realize it.

Life is a challenge, meet it.

Life is a duty, complete it.

Life is a game, play it.

Life is a promise, fulfill it.

Life is sorrow, overcome it.

Life is a song, sing it.

Life is a struggle, accept it.

Life is a tragedy, confront it.

Life is an adventure, dare it.

Life is luck, make it.

Life is life, fight for it.”

~ Mother Teresa


“You may not be a Picasso or Mozart but you don’t have to be. Just create to create. Create to remind yourself you’re still alive. Make stuff to inspire others to make something too. Create to learn a bit more about yourself.” ~ Frederick Terral


“We are not on this earth to accumulate victories, things, and experiences, but to be whittled and sandpapered until what’s left is who we truly are.” ~ Arianna Huffington


“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities have crept in – forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.” ~ Emerson


“There is nothing like looking, if you want to find something. You certainly usually find something, if you look, but it is not always quite the something you were after.” ~ J.R.R. Tolkien


“The reward of art is not fame or success but intoxication.” ~ Cyril Connolly


“Life moves on, whether we act as cowards or heroes. Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate, or despise, serves to defeat us in the end. What seems nasty, painful, or evil, can become a source of beauty, joy and strength, if faced with an open mind. Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such.” ~ Henry Miller


”The seed of your next artwork lies embedded in the imperfections of your current piece.” ~ David Bayles


“Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.” ~ Jimi Hendrix


.
On Failure...


“An artist cannot fail; it is a success to be one.” ~ Charles Horton Cooley


“You have to know how to accept rejection and reject acceptance.” ~ Ray Bradbury


“Mistakes are the portals of discovery” ~ James Joyce


“Work like hell! I had 122 rejection slips before I sold a story.” ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald


“Failure is a bruise, not a tattoo.” ~ Jon Sinclair


“To try and fail is at least to learn. To fail to try is to suffer the loss of what might have been.” ~ Benjamin Franklin


“A man can fail many times, but he isn’t a failure until he begins to blame somebody else.” ~ John Burroughs


“Failure is unimportant. It takes courage to make a fool of yourself.” ~ Charlie Chaplin


“I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I’m awake, you know?” ~ Ernest Hemingway


Life’s like a movie, write your own ending. Keep believing, keep pretending.” ~ Jim Henson


”It may be that when we no longer know what to do, we have come to our real work, and then we no longer know which way to go, we have begun our real journey.” ~ Wendell Berry


“It’s better to fail in originality, than succeed in imitation.” ~ Herman Melville


“I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.” ~ Augusten Burroughs


“Some succeed because they are destined. Some succeed because they are determined.” ~ Unknown


“Life isn’t fair, it’s just fairer than death, that’s all.” ~ William Goldman


“Life is pretty simple: You do some stuff. Most fails. Some works. You do more of what works. If it works big, others quickly copy it. Then you do something else. The trick is the doing something else.” ~ Leonardo da Vinci


“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” ~ Lao Tzu


“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.” ~ Douglas Adams


“Empty pockets never held anyone back. Only empty heads and empty hearts can do that.” ~ Norman Vincent Peale


“I would rather die of passion than of boredom.” ~ Vincent van Gogh


“Whether you succeed or not is irrelevant, there is no such thing. Making your unknown known is the important thing.” ~ Georgia O’Keeffe


“Do not fear mistakes—there are none.” ~ Miles Davis


“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.” ~ Khalil Gibran


“You should keep on painting no matter how difficult it is, because this is all part of experience, and the more experience you have, the better it is…unless it kills you, and then you know you have gone too far.” ~ Alice Neel


“Fail, fail again, fail better” ~ Samuel Beckett

12 Nov 2015

Rapport - Matching & Mirroring, Pacing & Leading

Rapport is when we seem to "just hit it off" with another person; when we click (Kinesthetic) and "see eye to eye" (Visual), etc. It is when we feel like the other person is like us. This is what we mean when we say "I like it" or "I like him/her". It means that that thing or person is like us. The word Like is a simile. A simile is a figure of speech that directly compares two things through the explicit use of connecting words (such as like, as, so, than, or various verbs such as resemble).


We can use certain tools to be more liked by other people, and also to understand them more. We do this by literally copying their behaviours and mannerisms. Establishing and building rapport is very effective for therapy.

Pacing and Matching 
(subtle mimicry)

For: building rapport, empathy and awareness of peoples subconscious communications & important for modelling. It involves integrating various elements of their habitual style into your own for therapeutic purposes, making them feel comfortable and understood.

How: match body language and speech (VAKOG predicates) - see Lexical Predicates

Matching is different to mirroring because it has more vague imitation and is less specific/exact.

Mimicry is the opposite of standing out; it is blending in, like camouflage.

Mirror




Behavioural Mirroring 
aka Reading People 
(self-inducing their state)

How: match behaviors that are mostly subconscious and symbolic; postures, breathing (can be done by tapping the fingers in the same rythym), facial expressions connecting things in peoples personalities (Patrick Jane does this often in the TV show The Mentalist, and also Cal Lightman in the show Lie To Me.)

There is a scene in the movie The Librarian: Quest For The Spear in which the main character is applying to become a librarian, and the interviewer at this point has seen many more potential candidates, all of which failed, and so she says to him "Tell me something you know that nobody else who has walked in here could tell me."

He proceeds as follows...

"You have mononucleosis. Your marriage broke up two months ago, you broke your nose when you were ...
... and you live with three cats. Is that what you had in mind? Swollen parajugular lymph nodes and distended eyelids are clearly mono. It takes three months for an indentation on the ring finger to completely disappear. Yours is approximately two-thirds gone. Your surgeon gave you a terminus para-lateral scar...
... which is given to children under the age of... 

And I can clearly see three distinct types of cat hair. A white Himalayan, a tortoiseshell and an orange-striped tabby."


In short, he read her, connecting all the things in her "Symbolic Behaviours". This is called behavioural mirroring.

All this information was on or around her body. He could have pointed out a lot more, and we can all do this. It just takes practice and a trained awareness. Having Low Latent Inhibition helps massively with being aware of all the little nuances and subtle cues in peoples behavior, including the tiniest movements, breathing, tonality, rate and pitch of speech, etc.


I recommend reading these books on reading body language:





Autistic people (specifically the "high functioning" ones) struggle with mirroring and establishing empathy because they have less mirror neurons, which are responsible for mimicry/modelling. It is a much more conscious process for them, and more instinctual for the average person. This is why people who experience symptoms of Autism appear to lack empathy, or are unaware other peoples feelings. But it's not that they lack these things, it's just that it's much more difficult for them to process their reality in this way, so that means it's the people without Autism that have to match and mirror them, building rapport to accommodate their needs.

Read More about Mirror Neurons.




"The sage has no interest of his own, but takes the interests of the people as his own. He is kind to the kind; he is also kind to the unkind: for Virtue is kind. He is faithful to the faithful; he is also faithful to the unfaithful: for Virtue is faithful." - Lao Tzu

"Regard your neighbor's gain as your own gain, and your neighbor's loss as your own loss." - Lao Tzu

Imitation and mimicry are very natural, and our brains are designed to notice differences for survival purposes. When we do it consciously - as in therapy - we can generate much better outcomes than if we didn't, for non-verbal communication makes up about 93% of communication. The other 7% is words.

Note: Do not mirror or pace peoples suffering; stick with general physical and symbolic behaviours. If you were to pace an asthmatics breathing, you'd find yourself struggling to breathe, and that's no good. A bit of genuine empathy is more than enough for establishing and building rapport.

Pacing and Leading 
(sales)

Pace by building rapport/matching or mirroring, and then lead them somewhere else/into another state - a positive one. Only match positive body language, or match negative postures, but then gradually/subtly change to positive ones. E.G. from crossed arms to open, literally making them more emotionally open and comfortable.

Match negatives by sharing resentments you have in common, e.g. "Yeah, I hate that too" etc. and then lead out of by saying "but... "

"I hate X just as much as you do, but I would rather focus on the things that I like and love because that makes me feel better, and what I feel is my choice. So my question for you is: by adopting your thoughts and feelings in all things related to X, what do I get out of it? How does it help me? In what way does it directly improve my life? How does it contribute to me experiencing the things I want to experience?"


Other examples of mimicry, matching and mirroring.

Pets (specifically dogs) that look like their owners.

Similarity



Ladybug






The Lyre Bird



Parrots


When clock pendulums swing out of synch become synchronized and swing at the exact same rhythm.

Women who have their periods at the same time (but only when they're around each other.)

And many, many more. Mimicry is the basis of Modelling (in NLP), and therefore of learning. It is directly connected to the As-If Pattern, also known as "fake it 'till you make it."

"We are all what we pretend to be, so, we had better be very careful what we pretend"
- Kurt Vonnegut


A great deal can be learnt about matching & mirroring, pacing & leading and Meta Programs in Shelle Rose Charvet's book Words That Change Minds.

8 Nov 2015

VAKOG Predicates - Lexicon For Rep. Systems

Senses


Have you ever heard someone say "He's a very visual person"? or "She's an auditory woman"?

When we say these kinds of things about people we mean that that's how they represent their reality through language. We can find out what type of person you're listening to by paying attention to their predicates.

See my post on Synesthesia and Fuzzy Functions for a better understanding of crossing rep. systems in language.

The predicates we use in our language tell us about our primary representational systems (how we perceive our reality, semantically), and we can match other peoples predicates to establish and build rapport, which builds trust, understanding and empathy. For this reason it is important to have a wide vocabulary of these kinds of words, so that when the time comes you can match a persons language patterns.

Below are Visual, Auditory, Kinaesthetic, Olfactory and Gustatory verbs, nouns, adjectives, and some antonyms.

Listen to when people use them, and listen for what type they use more than others - this is their primary representation system.



Visual


Vision

see
detect
examine
identify
look
look at
notice
observe
recognize
regard
spot
view
watch
witness
beam
behold
clock
contemplate
descry
discern
distinguish
espy
eye
flash
gape
gawk
gaze
glare
glimpse
heed
inspect
mark
mind
note
peek
peep
peer
peg
penetrate
pierce
remark
scan
scope
scrutinize
sight
spy
stare
survey
be apprised of
catch a glimpse of
catch sight of
get a load of
lay eyes on
make out
pay attention

Antonyms for see
disbelieve
disregard
ignore
miss
neglect
overlook
pass by
forget
look away
behold
catch
consider
contemplate
descry
discern
distinguish
earmark
eye
eyeball
feast one's eyes
flash
lay eyes on
note
notice
observe
perceive
regard
scan
see
spot
spy
survey
view
watch
witness


Auditory
Hearing

auditory
audible
aural
audile
auditive
acoustic
auricular
otic
sound
audile
audio
auditory
aural
hearing
phonic
audition
auditory
auditory range
detecting
distinguishing
ear
earshot
effect
extent
faculty
hearing distance
listening
perception
range
reach
recording
sense
attend
get
listen
overhear
pick up
read
apprehend
auscultate
catch
descry
devour
eavesdrop
hark
hearken
heed
strain
be all ears
become aware
get an earful
get wind of
give an audience
to
give attention
give ears
make out
take in

Kinaesthetic
Touch

feel
perceive
sense
try
apperceive
caress
clasp
clutch
explore
finger
fondle
frisk
fumble
grapple
grasp
grip
grope
handle
manipulate
maul
palm
palpate
paw
pinch
ply
poke
press
squeeze
test
thumb
tickle
twiddle
wield
run hands over

Antonyms for feel
overlook
give
leave alone
let go
manhandle
release

Olfactory
Smell

smell
breathe
detect
inhale
sniff
discover
find
identify
nose
scent
snuff
get a whiff

Gustatory
Taste

Synonyms for taste
bite
chew
eat
enjoy
sample
savor
sip
assay
criticize
differentiate
discern
distinguish
lick
nibble
partake
perceive
relish
sense
test
touch
try the flavor of
taste
savor
sapidity
aftertaste
flavor
gout
twang
tang.
gust
relish
smack
tasting
gusto
sapor
smatch
degustation

5 Nov 2015

Parts Integration





NOTE: Unless you are already a highly experienced NLP practitioner, this pattern may inappropriate for you to try on your own. We suggest that you work with a very competent NLP practitioner who is very mature in his or her own personal work

Conflicting beliefs can cause self-sabotage and prevent people from assertively pursuing their goals. They can undermine relationships of all kinds. This pattern assists in aligning beliefs so that they are accurate and synergistic.

"On the one hand I want X, and on the other hand I want Y." The solution is to create a Z or new representation.
Integration of Conflicting Parts draws operationally from a combination of the NLP techniques of 'Visual Squash' and 'Reframing'. Conceptually, it is based on the work of Fritz Perls and Virginia Satir.
One of the most important and useful principles for managing change relates to the notion of 'positive intention'. This principle is especially valuable when dealing with resistances and objections. The principle essentially states that: At some level, all behavior is intended or has been developed for some "positive purpose". According to this principle, for instance, resistances or objections would actually emerge from some underlying positive intention or purpose. For example, the positive purpose behind the objection, "It is not desirable to be successful," may be to 'protect' the speaker from oversaturation or failure. The positive intention behind a resistance such as, "It is not possible to change," might be to prevent 'false hope' or to avoid unrewarded effort.
The principle of positive intention implies that, in order to successfully change a resistance or limiting belief, these underlying concerns, or positive purposes, must be acknowledged and addressed in some way. The positive intention behind a resistance or limiting belief may be addressed directly or by widening the person's map of the situation such that they are able to see choices for satisfying their positive intent other than resistance or interference.
In fact, resistance created by positive intentions often arise from other limiting (and unrecognised) assumptions. For instance, the reason that a person may feel threatened by the "success" may be because that person does not feel he or she has the skills or support to deal with the social impact of being successful. This concern may be addressed by providing the appropriate coaching and guidance for developing the necessary resources. Another way to address this might be to help the person realize that he or she already has the capabilities necessary and is going to be supported.
It is also important at times to inquire directly about the positive intention or purpose behind a particular resistance or limiting belief.
The principle of positive intention is derived from the deeper assumption that people make the best choices available to them given the possibilities and capabilities that they perceive to be accessible within their model of the world. NLP processes, such as Reframing, are ways to help people widen their map of a situation and perceive other choices and options.
Thus, when managing an objection or resistance, it is useful to begin by acknowledging its positive intent and then lead to a wider space of perception or thinking. It is especially important to separate a person's identity and positive intention from their behaviors. In dealing with interferences, an effective strategy is to first acknowledge the person or their positive intent and then respond to the issue or problem as a separate issue.
It is important to realize that one can acknowledge another person's point of view without having to agree with that person, i.e. it is different to say "I understand that you have this perspective", than to say, "I agree with you". Saying, "I appreciate your concern", or "That is an important question" is a way to acknowledge the person or their intention without necessarily implying that their map of the world is the right one.
In summary, according to the principle of positive intention, when dealing with resistance to change it is important and useful to:

1) Presuppose that all behavior (including resistance and limiting beliefs) is positively intended. 

2) Separate the negative aspects of the behavior from the positive intention behind it. 

3) Identify and respond to the positive intention of the resistant/problem person. 

4) Offer the person other choices of behavior to achieve the same positive intention.




The NLP Parts Integration technique

 1. Establish the unwanted behavior or indecision. Then identify at least two opposing Parts – the ‘Good Part’ and ‘Bad Part’, or the Part that wants to change and the Part that keeps doing the problem.  Identify the conflict you have and physically sort out the 'parts' in conflict.
(Identify the conflicting parts your partner has. Common types of conflicts include logic vs. emotion, rational vs. intuitive, childhood beliefs vs. adult beliefs, past vs. future, etc. Calibrate the physiology of each of the parts in conflict (pay particular attention to asymmetries of movements and gestures). )
2. Create an image of both Parts, one in each palm of your hands. Any metaphoric representation that symbolizes each Part is appropriate. Establish a 'meta-position' that is disassociated from either of the conflicting parts (new image/outcome).
(Represent the parts in all sensory systems. For example, you can say, "Put the part of you that believes X in one hand (choose the hand that your partner used when expressing that belief). What image, voice and feelings do you have associated with that part of you?" If one of these has been missing have the explorer add it in. Put the other part in the other hand and do the same thing.)
3. (a) Fixate your attention on one of the Parts first. Then ask that Part what its intention is for doing what it’s doing. Keep repeating that question on whatever ‘answer’ you get, until you arrive at a positive value like love, freedom, joy etc.
(b) Fixate your attention on the other Part next. Then ask that Part what its intention is for doing what it’s doing. Keep repeating that question on whatever ‘answer’ you get, until you arrive at a positive value like love, freedom, joy etc.

(c) Notice that what both Parts want (their highest intention) is either identical or compatible.
(Have your partner associate into the perceptual position of each part and ask each part to look at the other and describe what it sees. At this stage the different parts will typically dislike and distrust the other.)
4. Identify which resources each Part has, that would be useful to the other Part in achieving their highest intention. Imagine both Parts now sharing these resources. Identify the resources and capabilities that each part has that would be helpful to the other part in order to accomplish its own positive intention and the common goal.
(Find the positive intention and purpose of each part. Make sure that each part recognizes and accepts the positive intent of the other. Make sure that each part realizes that their conflict is directly interfering with the achievement of their own purposes.)
5. Have the hands turn towards each other and see the two internal images begin to merge as the hands progressively move closer together.
6. As the hands come together, create a third image that symbolizes the integration of the two former Parts.  Physically synthesize and integrate the formerly conflicting parts into a new representation and internalize it in your body.
7. Bring the new integrated image into your body through placing both hands on your heart, breathing it in and absorbing this whole new experience.
(Ask your partner to bring his or her hands together at the same time that he or she creates a new representation of himself or herself in all sensory systems that fully integrates the resources of both parts. (Calibrate to an integration/symmetry of the two physiologies that accompanied the separate parts.) Remind your partner that an integration is not a compromise or a contract. If you are successful there will no longer be two separate parts but rather one whole person. The "visual squash" technique described above is not always the only method of integration although it is the most common and is very effective. Sometimes, for instance, the explorer may want to expand a new image out from meta position to incorporate the conflicting parts. Sometimes a conflict may involve more than two parts. In such a case you may either expand this technique to include all three or do the integrations two at a time.)
8. Relax for a few minutes and then think about that old issue in light of being a more integrated person now.
9. Consider how you’re going to approach your situation differently in the future, now that you’re fully integrated…







Richard Bandler's Six-Step Reframing Outlines

1) Identify the pattern (X) to be changed. "I want to stop
   X'ing but I can't," or "I want to Y, but something stops
   me"
2) Establish communications with the part responsible for
   the pattern.
   a) "Will the part of me that makes me X communicate with me in
       consciousness?" Pay attention to any feelings, images, or
       sounds that occur in response to asking that questions
       internally.
   b) Establish the "yes/no" meaning of the signal. Have it increase
      in brightness, volume, or intensity for "yes," and increase for
      "no."
3) Separate the behavior, pattern X, from the positive intention of the
   part that is responsible for X. The unwanted behavior is only a way
   to achieve some positive function.
   a) Ask the part that runs X "Would you be willing to let me know in
      consciousness what you are trying to do for me by pattern X?"
   b) If you get a "yes" response, ask the part to go ahead and communicate
      its intention. If you get a "no" response, proceed with unconscious
      reframing, presupposing positive intention.
   c) Is that intention acceptable to consciousness? Do you want to have
      a part of you which fulfills that function?
   d) Ask the part that runs X "If there were ways to accomplish your positive
      function that would work as well as, or better than X, would you be
      interested in trying them out?"
4) Access a creative part, and generate new behaviors to accomplish
   positive functions.
   a) Access experiences of creativity and anchor them, or ask "Are
      you aware of a creative part of yourself?"
   b) Have the part that runs X communicate its positive function to
      the creative part, allow the creative part to generate more choices
      to accomplish that function, and have the part that used to run X
      select three choices that are at least as good or better than X.
      Have it give a "yes" signal each time it selects an alternative.
5) Ask the part "Are you willing to take responsibility for using the
   three new alternatives in the appropriate context?" This provides a
   future-pace. In addition you can ask the part at the unconscious
   level to identify the sensory cues that will trigger the new choices,
   and to experience fully what it's like to have those sensory cues
   effortlessly and automatically bring on one of the new choices.
6) Ecological Check. "Is there any part of me that objects to any of the
   three new alternatives?" If there is a "yes" response, recycle to
   step 2 above.
  
Negotiating Between Parts Outline

1) Ask the part that is being interrupted (part X)
   the following questions:
   a) What is your positive function?
   b) Which part(s) is (are) interrupting you? (part Y)
2) Ask the same questions of part Y:
   a) "What is your positive function?"
   b) "Does X ever interfere with your carrying out your
      function?"
3) If both parts interrupt each other at times, you are
   now ready to negotiate an agreement. (If not, this model
   is not appropriate, so switch to another reframing model.
   If Y interferes with X, but X doesn't interfere with Y,
   six-step reframing with Y may be most appropriate.)
   a) Ask Y if its function is important enough that Y would
      be willing to not interrupt X so that it could receive
      the same treatment in return.
   b) Ask X if it was not interrupted by Y, would it be
      willing to not interrupt Y?
4) Ask each part if it will actually agree to do the above
   for a specified amount of time. If either part becomes
   dissatisfied for any reason, it is to signal the person
   that there is a need to renegotiate.
5) Ecological check: "Are there any other parts involved in
   this?" "Are there any other parts that interrupt this part,
   or that utilize these interruptions?" If so, renegotiate.

Creating a New Part Outline

1) Identify the desired outcome, the function of the part. "I
   want a part that will achieve X."
2) Access any historical experiences of doing X, or anything similar.
   Step inside each experience and access all aspects of doing X or
   parts of X. Go through each memory in all representational systems.
3) Create a detailed set of images of how you would behave if you
   were actually demonstrating whatever this part of you is going to
   have you do to achieve the outcome X:
   a) First create a dissociated visual and auditory constructed movie.
   b) When you see a whole sequence that you're satisfied with, step
      inside the image and go through the whole sequence again from the
      inside, feeling what it is like to do these behaviors.
   c) If you are not satisfied, go back to 3a and change the movie. Do
      this until you are satisfied with that fantasy from the inside as
      well as from the outside.
4) Ecological check.  "Does any part object to my having a part which
   will be in charge of making that fantasy a reality?" Make sure you
   check in all representational systems to find all objecting parts.
   For each objecting part:
   a) Ask that part to intensify the signal for "yes" and decrease for
      "no."
   b) Ask "What is your function for me?" "What do you do for me?"
   c) If the function doesn't tell you what the part's objection is,
      ask "What specifically is your objection or concern?"
   d) Make a complete written list of all the parts that object and
      their functions.
5) Satisfy all the objecting parts:
   a) Redefine the part you are creating to take into account all the
      functions and concerns of the objecting parts.
   b) Go back to step 3 and make a new or modified fantasy that will
      satisfy the concerns of each part that objected.
   c) Check with every part to make sure that each one is satisfied that
      this new representation of the new part's behavior will not interfere
      with its function.
6) Ask your unconscious resources to analyze that fantasy and to pull from
   it the essential ingredients. Your unconscious is to use this information
   to build a part and give it entity.
   "Get what you need to know from that fantasy to be able to build a part
   of you that can do this exquisitely and easily, and at every moment that
   it needs to be done."
7) Test the part to make sure it is there:
   a) Go inside and ask.
   b) Future-pace, repeatedly.

   c) Behaviorally engage the part to find out if it responds appropriately.


Additional Advice

If the conflict involves more that two parts or issues, you can include those issues or do these integrations in sequence, one pair at a time. Remember that this is an advanced pattern that may require further training and assistance before it is appropriate to carry out.

And finally: